Birth stories

Helpful stuff

“The whole thing was incredible”

Anonymous

"I’ve been trying to think of the words today to tell you about my birth. The whole thing was incredible really and an entirely different story from my last birth. There was some luck in there in terms of timing but also a whole heap of planning, certainty and confidence to ask for what I wanted and needed which was most definitely down to KGHypnobirthing.

When the contractions started in the night I was reminded of my last birth experience. I wasn’t afraid though. I had been listening to the releasing fear script several times a day in the last weeks so I was able to focus on my up breathing and visualisations and this was very manageable. I also made a decision however in these wee small hours, as contractions strengthened, that I wanted to have an epidural if possible. I knew timing would be a factor in this and having had a previously very quick birth the chances were that this birth would also be quick.

When we got to the hospital at 7.30am I was a bit upset, overwhelmed at being there and feeling emotional about what was going to be happening today. Contractions did slow a smidge on arrival, but only for about five minutes as I re-grouped and settled into my new environment. I knew from KGHypnobirthing that being calm and focused was what was required and I was quickly able to get into the right headspace. I pretty much kept my eyes closed from that moment onwards until the end of the birth. I focused on my up breathing, I sat or lay very still, I focused on the up image in my head, I held a familiar towel from home, had my own pillow under my head, sniffed orange essential oil on a hankie and held my husband’s hand. This was a very safe and comfortable space to be in.

Had we got to the hospital half an hour later my story might have been different. We were lucky to get the last birthing suite, we were lucky to get the suite number that we wanted, we were lucky that we had timed phoning the midwife and getting to the hospital to perfection or an epidural may not have been possible. I am aware and astounded by all of this. But still, I got the birth that I wanted. I feel very lucky.

I completely see how choosing an epidural could interfere with your focus and the development of labour. As I was in such a calm and serene hypnobirthing state and as my body clearly births quickly I had no disruptions or need for interventions at all. My eyes were closed and I focused on my breathing, that was my job while the midwifes and anaesthetist did what they needed to do. I was aware but unaware at the same time.

Not that long after the epidural I was fully dilated. It was recommended at this stage that we wait an hour before starting to push however. The sensation that I felt with each contraction had now changed. I still had an intense feeling but much duller and more like a really intense pressure rather than contraction pain. The intensity of this pressure still required my hypno birthing tools. I needed to breath through these sensations and remained focused on my up breathing with my eyes closed, as I had done up until then.

The pushing part was fast. I was aware of my down breathing but I expect because of the epidural I didn’t really need it. I was aware the baby was coming out, I could feel it but there was no pain. The baby came out calmly and quietly just before 11.30am. My eyes remained closed. This will remain a staggering memory for me. Being aware but unaware of the baby coming out all at the same time. It gave me a calm opportunity to acknowledge the incredible thing that I was doing without the pain or the fear I had experienced the first time, that is a gift.

The midwife commented afterwards that it was unusual to have a hypno-epidural birth but she also commented on how quiet I had been, how there was not much difference in my manner before and after the epidural. I was inside my head the whole time, doing the work in my mind. This is entirely down to KGHypnobirthing and my ability to practise and use the skills I’d been taught. I am hugely grateful to you Anna for teaching me these skills. I used them to achieve a calm pregnancy, to release the fear that I had built up from my first birth experience, to achieve a calm delivery and to be bold and get the birthing experience that I wanted (in the last few weeks of pregnancy as well as in the delivery suite)."

“An unexpected birth journey”

Pippa

"Our daughter was born in late winter 2018. She was one of the 3% of babies who actually arrive on their due date. This was our first child, and we were wildly excited!

Some years earlier, when facing a series of chronic health issues, I had come across one of Ina May Gaskin's books on midwifery. What she had to say about natural childbirth resonated deeply with me. I knew from that time that if/when my partner and I conceived a home birth would be my first preference. I had also read about the statistically better birth outcomes achieved when a birthing family was supported by a doula. Therefore, once we confirmed our pregnancy in late 2017, we set about putting in place a birth team to support a home birth. This included bringing Anna on board as our doula. We did a significant about of preparatory work for the labour and birth. I was particularly interested in the stories of women who approached their labours in a positive, non-fear based way, and how this was a tool to manage the intensity of birth. To help us approach labour in this way we, among other things, took the Katharine Graves Hypnobirthing course with Anna and also attended an active birth workshop. Both were invaluable to us during labour and birth.

We were fortunate to have a good pregnancy, and as our due date approached we were on track with our home birth plan. On the evening before the due date I felt my first surge around 9pm. I'd just had a lovely long bath and had laid my head on the pillow. My partner had gone to bed quite a bit earlier than me that night at around 8, which was not the norm (we joke that he must have subconsciously sensed that he wouldn't be getting much sleep in the week to come!). I waited in bed to see if/when my next surge would be. It was quickly clear that labour had started, as my surges were already five minutes apart, and there was already an intensity to them that differed from the cramps I'd felt the week prior. I tried to stay in bed as long as I could, but it wasn't long before I felt I needed to get up and move around. I let my partner continue sleeping for the next hour or so. As my surges gradually intensified, I woke him at 10.30 to tell him that things were happening! I decided that I would feel most comfortable in the bath, so he set me up in the bathroom, including with our hypnobirthing affirmations and relaxation tracks. While that early labour phase is somewhat of a blur, I recall being largely happy in the bath. My partner would spend his time in the bathroom with me during a surge then head off to the living area to set up the birth pool. My surges gradually got closer together, and we felt it was time to contact Anna.

Anna arrived at ours around 2am. Although in a 'labour bubble', I recall feeling very reassured by her presence. I remained in the bath for a bit longer while my partner and Anna continued to set up our birth space, and then I moved to this area and continued to labour in a relaxed way with amazing support from my partner and Anna. In the early hours of the morning, sometime before sunrise, Anna recommended that we phone the midwives to tell them that we were in labour. They said that they would call back once we were a bit further along. We appeared to be making good progress and it was not long before they called back. After what seemed like only a short period of time to me, the duty midwife from our collective (Dominoes) and a lovely student midwife arrived. Our Lead Maternity Carer (LMC) was 'off-duty' that weekend. We had really wanted her to be at the labour, so joked with the baby over the weekend that s/he had to wait until at least Monday before arriving. And baby listened! A few hours later, our LMC arrived to take over.

Our Midwife checked my progress around this time and I was approximately six centimetres dilated, and I was feeling good. My surges continued to increase in intensity in the few hours ahead, but I was wonderfully supported through each one. I particularly felt the labour in my lower back, so through each surge three of my support team would wrap around me - one pressing hard into the acupressure points in my lower back while the other two would shake my thighs vigorously. Around this time I decided to go into the birth pool for a change of scene. I found the water calming, although at times I felt either too hot or too cold. Anna would get me a cool flannel for my neck and forehead, or pour warmer water over me, or hold a warm flannel on my back while I was in the pool. I also recall her reminding me to relax my shoulders while I was in the pool by gentle stroking down on them. My partner and I used vocal toning (essentially chanting in time to achieve resonance) during some surges, which made me feel very calm and connected. Having the hypnobirthing audio playing continuously also helped immensely; it made me feel relaxed and reminded me to breathe and ride the wave of each surge.

Around late morning our Midwife asked, and I readily agreed, if she could check my progress again. And it was good news - my cervix was almost fully dilated, with just part of the cervical lip that needed to move. While barely aware of it at the time, my partner told me later that he served everyone pumpkin soup after hearing this, thinking they'd all need some sustenance before moving into the second stage of labour (the pushing part) in the near future.

However, as with many things in life, our labour from this point took an unexpected turn. The hours ticked on and I never felt an urge to push. The midwives recommended a range of different positions to try move things forward, which included squatting, lying on my side, being jiggled by a rebozo (large scarf), and (my favourite) hanging upside-down off the sofa! Unfortunately none of these changed the situation. To this point my waters had not broken and our midwives recommended that they do this. This was a big decision point in our labour for my partner and me. We were aware that the breaking of waters was an intervention (of sorts), and our preference was to avoid those. At the same time, we knew that our midwives had tried a lot of things and that this was not a careless recommendation.

It was also our last chance to stay at home - given the amount of time I'd laboured to that point, we would have to transfer to hospital shortly if progress was not made. We were given time and privacy to consider our options and ultimately decided to break my waters. The breaking of the waters itself was a very quick and painless procedure. We continued for a while to try to help baby move into a better position, but there was still no urge 'to push'. Given the amount of time we had been labouring and the lack of progress, our midwives recommended, and we agreed, to transfer to hospital. It was quite surreal walking out of our house up our garden path in the early evening light - my labour bubble was burst. We transferred the short distance to Wellington Hospital in an ambulance with its sirens muted. Our midwife travelled with me, which was reassuring, while my partner and the rest of the support team followed. Until this point my surges had been intense, but manageable. However, I found it much harder to focus in the ambulance and at hospital, and no-doubt was also feeling an element of fear, which led to a new level of intensity.

At hospital, I was initially offered gas to help manage the increasingly intense surges. I tried to take it, but my body rebelled immediately (I threw off the mask!). The obstetrician then recommended an epidural in the hope that this would relax the body and help the baby descend. It was reasonably clear that this was our last chance at attempting a vaginal birth, so we consented. 20-30 minutes after the epidural, the obstetrician conducted a scan. He could not find an obvious reason as to why baby had not descended, and recommended a caesarean. The epidural had unfortunately made me feel cold and shake uncontrollably. My partner and I discussed our options. We agreed that, given our baby had not descended over the past eight or so hours, and the fact I was not feeling very strong after a relatively long labour and the epidural, we would proceed with a caesarean birth. This was not an easy decision for me, but in the circumstances it felt like the best option. In particular, I wanted to avoid a situation where we might need a true emergency caesarean under general anaesthetic and I would not see our baby be born. Our birth team were immensely supportive of our decision. I was prepared for theatre and there were forms to sign. Fortunately our antenatal classes and our reading had given us some sense of what to expect. I continued to listen to my hypnobirthing soundtrack and send our baby calming messages. While exhausted by this point, and apprehensive about the surgery, I was also excited that we would get to meet our baby imminently.

And it didn't take long. After what felt about five minutes after the surgery began, the obstetrician lifted our baby up over the curtain. She let out a cry to let us all know she had arrived. It was a girl! It was 10.01pm - over 24 hours after our labour had begun. She was taken away to be weighed and checked over briefly. Pronounced healthy, she was then placed on my chest. And what a magical moment that was! She calmed to our voices and looked at us intently out of one eye (the other eye was squished against my chest). She was here; she'd found her way to us. We had two name options for girls in advance of the birth - one stronger sounding and the other softer - and had thought that we'd take a bit of time in choosing one of them. However, whilst in recovery immediately following the surgery I turned to my partner and suggested that given the strength our daughter had shown through the entire labour - her heart rate was always strong - we should go with the stronger sounding name. He readily agreed, and we announced to our Midwife that her name would be Greta Kōwhai.

While I felt fortunate that I immediately bonded with Greta, I struggled in the period following her birth to talk about it. There was a sense of loss for what I had wanted and also of failure - why couldn't I give birth naturally. We also had a challenging first week establishing breastfeeding and, rightly or not, I felt this was exacerbated by the surgery. However, in the period following Greta's birth, I have been very fortunate to have amazing support around me encouraging me to explore my emotions around Greta's birth. I also attended a really helpful post-natal counselling session at the hospital. While I don't regret having had a 'plan A' for how I wanted to labour and give birth, I also can now accept that I gave it my best shot, but sometimes life has other plans, and that's okay. I am grateful that we had a wonderful birth team who empowered us to make decisions, rather then making them for us. The passage of time, and getting to see Greta grow and develop in such amazing ways, is also a great healer.

Anna was instrumental in supporting our pre-birth preparations and was also such a supportive, attentive, and reassuring presence during labour. You can read our testimonial for her services here.

“Giving birth to our baby was the most empowering, magical and awesome thing”

Anonymous

"Due day was a lovely warm spring day, and I was 110% ready for our baby to be out of me. So we summoned him. My girlfriend gave me a massage on all the induction pressure points (naughtily, as we had been told to save these for labour), we tidied and cleaned the house, we said ‘come on baby, we are ready, you can come now’ and we listened to Hirini Melbourne’s incantation for labour and birth over and over...

That afternoon I had a little tiny show! We had so much hopeful excitement, it was a similar feeling to those little signs that maybe just maybe I was pregnant nine months earlier. I had more shows over the afternoon, but I went to bed as usual as my midwife had advised. I tried to keep calm and not get too excited as I noticed some possible little pains – I’d already had one possible false labour so I didn’t want to get all worked up for nothing. At about midnight I went for one of my usual many-a-night toilet trips and when I was finished weeing the sound of water trickling in the toilet kept going – my waters had broken! It was nothing like I had imagined (I later found out that it was my ‘hind’ waters ?!?). Anyway, even though I had promised not to wake my girlfriend unless I was in active labour, this was too exciting so I woke her up and said “umm I’m pretty sure my waters just broke”. Despite her excitement she managed to go back to sleep, and I went back to the couch (‘my bed’ as it was called now as I spent most of my pregnancy there). Needless to say I didn’t sleep as the period-like pains got worse.

At about 2am I needed something to help with the pain as I was whimpering a bit, so I ran myself a bath. This woke my girlfriend up, and this time she got up and – not sure exactly why – vacuumed the house and cleaned the bathroom (!!). We started trying to time contractions and I tried to watch Masterchef, which had gotten me through the third trimester as good distraction material but the pain was too bad and I couldn’t concentrate. I was leaning on a yoga ball, and I think the contractions were roughly 5-7 mins apart-ish, and then they began to be more like 3 mins apart, and I was really struggling to get accustomed to the pain. I rang Mum at about 4am I think, crying because I was so sore, and she was sympathetic and suggested that I have another bath. I’m not sure if I did, my memories are quite foggy.

My girlfriend decided at some point that it was time to call the troops - our midwife, student midwife and chosen friend, who all arrived over the next hour. By then I had vomited and was complaining a lot – my midwife, to my furious disbelief, sat down and took one look at me and said “You’re not in labour yet. Its ok, I knew this is what would happen. I’ll come back in a few hours, try and go for a walk”.

“What the FUCK do you mean I”M NOT IN LABOUR YET?!?” I thought. “If this isn’t labour then how much worse can it get?!?” In retrospect I can see that the fact that I was able to be complaining and having coherent thoughts showed that I wasn’t in active labour.

Active labour wasn’t far away though – we went for the ‘walk’ which was halfway up the stairs to the street, with a contraction outside sci-fi guy’s gate (our neighbour), and then back down to the doorstep and a vomit. We had sent our lovely student midwife out to the supermarket and she came back with all our strange requests, including Up&Go which was a GENIUS idea. Some of the things I thought I would want to eat during labour were SO not a good idea (runner’s snacks like muesli bars, cheese, peanut butter and bananas – but I’ll know for next time that in labour I couldn’t even chew! Let alone manage peanut butter).

From about then I went into the strange mystical world of labour and my memories get very fuzzy...

While I was in the shower with my dedicated girlfriend hosing my back, our midwife arrived again. I fondly remember how she just sat quietly on a stool next to the shower and observed and just offered the occasional encouragement. I have been told that my girlfriend and I spent a long time in our bedroom but I have no memory of this at all. I remember coming out to the lounge when the pool was FINALLY ready and vomiting and wetting myself all at once on the way. Thank you to the team for cleaning everything up.

In the pool things really ramped up pain-wise. My girlfriend says that she noticed a contraction that went on and on and that my midwife said it was transition. I just remember hazy bits and pieces, moments of someone passing me Up&Go, or stroking my hand, sponging my forehead, saying something encouraging. Our student midwife brought out my photo collage at just the perfect moment and I remember my midwife saying something like ‘just think about how good you felt at the top of those mountains, how powerful and strong’ and it really helped. This still makes me tearful to remember.

This whole time my girlfriend was so wonderful, she was pushing on my hips tirelessly. I remember that occasionally she would (understandably) slacken off a bit, and I would snap at her to keep going – what a trooper, and she didn’t even complain. She was in the pool with me and that was so comforting. It’s funny now to look at photos of all this happening in crisp clear bright broad daylight because you really are in a kind of tunnel in labour and I didn’t really SEE anything that whole time...It’s as though you are between worlds, with baby...

Then the amazing thing happened when I started pushing. I hadn’t realised how much your body just does it all, and you are just along for the unpleasant ride really. I had done so much mental preparation telling myself that birth by was just going to be like an especially hard long distance run – but it is so different! When you are running and you hit a wall of exhaustion the whole battle is telling yourself to keep going, but during labour you don’t have a choice!

At some point the second midwife, who was just perfect, quietly arrived. I think she was introduced to me, but I can hardly remember... she just slotted into the background.

Long hard pushes, then rests and sips of Up&Go in between more pushes. I remember the encouragement and cheerleading from my wonderful supporters, and when we could feel the head, and then when my girlfriend could see it. I also remember getting cramp in my leg (I think from all the whole body pushing!) which was just the last thing I needed really on top of everything. I remember my wise midwife saying at some point “this baby is going to be born by lunchtime” and looking up at the clock and thinking, yes, I can do that, I can keep going until lunchtime. Then the clock was a helpful reminder that I could do it, it would pass, I could get there....

Baby wasn’t coming, despite rolling over and trying being on my back in the pool rather than on all fours. So my midwife said “I want you to get out of the pool and try going to the toilet and do a few pushes there”. So I climbed out of the pool, which was a bloody mission, supported by helpers on either side, and staggered into the bathroom. I think the time in there was the scariest part of the birth, it was just so so intense. I needed to cling onto my girlfriend and I remember punching the wall because it was so scary and sore pushing in that position. Baby still didn’t come though, because my perineum wasn’t stretching enough (I was a bit cross with myself later that I had been pathetic about how ‘sore’ perineal massage was and didn’t really do it much leading up to due date – ha! All in perspective now!).

I assume it was explained to me that we might need to do an episiotomy, I can’t remember. (My midwife explained a week or two after the birth when I asked all the questions that had come to me once all the drama was over that baby had spent a bit long in the birth canal and wasn’t recovering so well after contractions, and she said that it’s best not to be in the water in that situation). So there we all were in our bedroom, the bed had been all set up by the wonderful helpers, with the ridiculous birth mats that my girlfriend and I had almost been in tears over trying (badly) to make a week or so before, and I was pushing on my back – THE ABSOLUTE LAST PLACE I intended to be. I had read Active Birth and been so keen on being in a powerful upright position, but I guess you never know how it’s really going to be! My midwife said “ok, this baby needs to be born on the next contraction”. (I’m so glad that we got the birth on film, from about this moment, and I was able to watch it many times in the following weeks until I finally believed it). After the episiotomy, and our baby’s head was out with the next contraction. There was a really long gap between the head and the next contraction, and with the next big push he was born, with such a huge wave of relief and joy, and he was there on my tummy and had a nice little cry and then was quiet.

Another thing that didn’t happen as imagined was that I had also read Birth Without Violence, and I wanted the lights to be dim and everyone to be quiet and calm when our baby was born, but we were all crying and whooping and he was crying and it was the bright middle of the day!

My midwives stitched me up while we got to know our baby. Our friend cut the cord. At some point I said “I am SO FUCKED UP” and everyone laughed. I am a little bit disappointed that I couldn’t birth the whenua naturally, but apparently I had bled a bit too much and my wonderful midwives did what they needed to do so that we could stay at home – which I am SO grateful for.

In the hours after the birth I felt quite happily traumatised (if that is possible), but also on that wonderful high! I said “I never want to do that again, its AWFUL” but by the next day I was saying “when can I get pregnant again that was so awesome”! Even now, and he’s been in the outside world almost as long as I carried him inside me, and I still think about his birth every day.

Having a home birth with those amazing women around me, holding me and encouraging me and supporting me, was the most wonderful and perfect thing. Giving birth to our baby was the most empowering, magical and awesome thing I have ever done, and he is perfect.

"I could not have asked for a better labour and birth"

At 5:45am on Sunday 28th October I was sleeping when I felt a sudden gush of water. I was 39 weeks pregnant with my first child. I staggered out of bed grabbing the towel I had left there for just this occasion and went to the bathroom. By 6am I felt what at that point felt like really strong menstrual cramps. I spent the next two hours moving between the bedroom and the bathroom, resting when I could but finding sitting on the toilet comfortable during a contraction. My husband managed to get another hour’s rest. We had planned for a home birth but had been warned the previous week that with extra amniotic fluid, this may not be possible. After two hours the contractions were 4-5 "up-breaths" long. I asked my husband to time them properly so that I could focus on my breathing. They were about 90 seconds apart so we phoned the midwife. She arrived about an hour later and did her first checks.

In the meantime I spent some time in the shower which was heaven on the persistent ache in my lower back. My husband set up the living room with mats and towels. I spent some time leaning forward over a huge pile of cushions, which was a position I had also found comfortable in late pregnancy. Then I wanted a bath, but having used up the hot water my husband had pans on the stove and the kettle boiling!

My midwife was amazing, she only came near me when she needed something and to swap places with my husband. I was never on my own during a contraction. I was aware of the second midwife arriving but she did not interrupt us. I was also told that I could give birth at home if that was still my choice. I wanted to stay in my home. I was still using the up breathing during contractions and the visualisation of the bubbles was the one that stuck in my mind. We had music running most of the time. I had practised relaxing with the River Dawn album so when I heard that during my labour it was a really helpful trigger for relaxation. Though my husband got very sick of it after the 7th run through!

Eventually sitting in the bath was not comfortable so I moved back to the living room. I spent most of my time on my knees leaning forwards but did also stand and rock a few times. There is a photo of me on the Swiss ball too but I don't remember that!

I didn’t have any pain relief, just my husband’s hands to squeeze and breathing to focus on. By now each time a contraction came it was only 5-6 breaths which reassured me that I could get through the contraction as I counted them down each time.

I had no idea what time it was but I started to feel the urge to push. I said this out loud so everyone knew and the midwife reassured me that it was okay to follow the sensation. I spent some time on the toilet following this urge to push (They were right, it's a lot easier to push on the toilet because we're used to doing it) before returning for the final time to the living room.

From that point onwards I was pushing on each contraction. My husband was holding my hands and the midwife told me progress and gave me encouragement. I think I ended up lying on my left side with my right leg on one of the midwife's shoulders for the final pushes and whilst I was aware of this I was not remotely embarrassed. It felt natural.

With the encouragement of my husband and the midwives I gave those final few pushes. They weren't easy but the second my child was delivered the pushes were forgotten. I didn’t hear any crying but I wasn’t worried as I had been told that not all babies cry. The midwives helped me turn on to my back and were about to put the baby to my breast when my husband asked whether it was a boy or a girl. We had a little baby boy! He was put on my chest and my husband was asked if he’d like to cut the cord. He did.

Unfortunately, my placenta did not follow my son and I was bleeding. The midwives were calm and told me what was happening and that we would have to call for ambulance and go into hospital. My husband was asked to dress our son, so that they could focus on helping me. He also collected my hospital bag (I was so glad I'd prepared that!) Three ambulance crew then had to carry me up 7 flights of steps (downside of living on a hill!). But I wasn't really aware... I had to keep my deep breathing going at this time as one of the medications given to me to try and deliver the placenta caused awful cramps. I focused on breathing and my midwife kept softly reminding me when I struggled.

Everything went smoothly in hospital. The medical professionals were friendly and explained things clearly. I was soon pain free and in theatre. An hour later I was in recovery with my son on my chest and the midwives helping me to express so my son could have some food. I remained in hospital for 24 hours and could have stayed longer but I knew the best place for me was at home with my son and my husband supporting us.

In the following two weeks I continued to use the relaxation visualisations when I was trying to get back to sleep after a night feed or trying to nap during the day. I could not have asked for a better labour and birth. I am very grateful for everything I learned with hypnobirthing."

“I definitely feel I have your course to thank for the way our quick, natural and pain relief free birth unfolded”

Jo, Andy and Sonny

"Our baby boy Sonny arrived safe and sound. He was born 4 weeks early on 7th May and weighed 2.3kg. We were pretty surprised when my waters broke at 11:30 whilst down in Hataitai village getting coffee! We called the midwife and quickly packed our bags (a job I'd been meaning to do but hadn't). When we got to the hospital they gave me antibiotics and monitored baby and said all was fine. Midwife went home at about 5pm leaving us in the delivery suite and nothing was happening. Andy and I had dinner and played cards and a few hours later frequent but slightly irregular waves of cramping started which ramped up pretty quickly. Luckily for us the hospital midwife was a hypnobirthing teacher and was absolutely amazing. She just left us to it and breezed in and out occasionally. Speaking mainly to Andy so quietly I was barely aware she was there. After about 2.5 hours of established labour (sitting on the Swiss ball, up breathing with the affirmations on and Andy rubbing my back) we decided a vaginal examination was a good idea. I was dreading her telling me I was only three centimetres but straight away she said 'you're 9cm this baby is nearly here'. Within another 30 minutes our baby boy arrived! Our midwife arrived 5 minutes before he did.

We're overjoyed to have him here safe and sound and after 8 nights in NICU it feels amazing to be home all hanging out together. Can't believe he's here and he's ours!

Thanks again for all your help. I definitely feel I have your course to thank for the way our quick, natural and pain relief free birth unfolded."

“I felt a huge sense of achievement and satisfaction”

Ash and Eito

"Our little boy arrived on Saturday 10th August at 7:26pm weighing 3.85kg. His name is Toa Tamura-Maude :)

We had a beautiful home birth and laboured in the birthing pool. We did have to get out of the pool at the last minute unfortunately as I’d been pushing for quite a while and struggling to get Toa’s head out because he was presenting deflexed so the midwives wanted to get me in a position with a bit more gravity on our side. It only took a couple more pushes once we were out and and Toa came out all in one go! I’ll never forget seeing him for the first time. I was in disbelief!

From active labour through to Toa being born was about 7 or 8 hours. It probably could have been a lot shorter if not for a few challenges. When my midwife Georgina arrived at midday she found that Toa was posterior so with that and the deflexed head position we had a bit of hard work ahead of us (we did manage to turn him anterior during my labour). I escaped with just a small 2nd degree tear which I felt was not a bad result given Toa had a pretty big head apparently.

Eito was an incredible support throughout the entire thing. I lost it a wee bit around the transition stage but eito was a wonderful calm presence and let me hold onto him through every surge. He was great at reminding me to do my breathing throughout each stage and encouraging my affirmations.

Overall we had a great experience. It was bloody hard work and more intense than I could have imagined. But I felt a huge sense of achievement and satisfaction when Toa was born. I feel really grateful that I got exactly what I wanted- a natural birth without any interventions or trauma and of course a healthy baby!

I feel very lucky to have had amazing, very experienced midwives looking after me. They created such a calm and safe environment for my labour and Toa’s birth. Eito was my hero and I feel like both of us went into the whole thing really calm and confident which was key! The hypnobirthing definitely enabled this and set us up for a positive experience. We learnt a lot in the lead up to the birth thanks to you. Most importantly we were in a state of mind to not let fear interfere with the process. Thank you again so much for your help and the tools you taught us. It was worthwhile 100%!"

“I felt very lucky as I had mentally prepared”

Joy, 2020

"On the 4th March at 1am I woke up to find that my waters had broken. “Here we go!” I thought, and awaited the contractions. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling - the uncomfortable feelings during the early hours of the morning were random in frequency and location and hard to keep track of, and I couldn’t get my brain to switch off to sleep. I expected it to be a long day ahead and to meet my baby eventually the following day.

By morning time I definitely knew what I was feeling were contractions, but again I had no idea of how far along I was. I did my best to up breathe through the waves and sat down to do a puzzle and have a smoothie, after my partner connected the TENS machine to my back. By 10am I was phoning my midwife for the third time, and she made the call to come and see me only to find that I was already 6cm dilated.

We had planned to birth in the hospital, mostly due to property access issues and peace of mind for our first labour experience so we sped off in the car. This was the most stressful part of my experience - I felt like I was going to poo my pants then and there! The hospital ticket machine took it’s sweet time to cooperate, and then when we finally got in the underground car park was completely full. I knew I had to get to the delivery suite ASAP so made my way alone before being helped by a doctor on their way back in, while my partner found a car park several streets away. It was scary to arrive in the birthing room by myself during the most intense part of my labour, and the gas machine was a real help to distract myself while I waited for my midwife and partner to get there. Not too long later everyone had arrived and the effects of the TENS machine had become less effective. I was 10cm dilated already so myself and my partner got into the bath.

The next part of my birth experience was more of a blur. The contractions were suddenly less noticeable and my brain had blocked out the outside world so that my body could focus on the task at hand. My body knew to use the down breathing and my partner even took it upon himself to do this alongside me only to make himself hyperventilate!… Luckily he managed to hold himself together to be able to feed me muesli bites and water throughout, as well as supporting my body when needed. The baby’s heartbeat was measured frequently throughout and remained normal the entire time. It was lovely to know that he came into the world so calmly.

13 hours after my waters broke my baby was in my arms in what felt like a very surreal moment. I was so proud that we had made it to that moment, and that my body had known exactly what to do and hadn’t required any medical interventions during the process. I felt very lucky as I had mentally prepared myself to be open to whatever happened during labour. The support from the midwives and my partner, as well as the mental preparation from hypnobirthing, enabled the experience to go as smoothly as possibly, and I will always be grateful for this."

“I’d done all the research I needed to make an informed decision”

Sally

"My first birth ended with a very large baby (with head size off the charts!) and a third degree tear. Interestingly, up until my second pregnancy, I’d felt nothing but pride at having eventually pushed out this big baby, and hadn’t given a thought to how the next birth would go. But the doctors had recommended at the time that, unless the next baby was ‘significantly smaller’, any subsequent births be by elective caesarean.

In the early stages of my second pregnancy I was very happy to go with the elective caesarean option. But as time went on and I talked to others (antenatal class, friends etc), it became clear to me that the caesarean didn’t need to be a default option - there were plenty of examples of women going on from a third degree tear to have natural, tear-free deliveries. I started to feel that I really wanted that - to ‘offset’ my first difficult delivery with a nice, natural second delivery.

At that point someone suggested a doula could help me work through the trauma of the first outcome (which was only really crystallising for me at that point - I hadn’t previously thought it would affect me until I faced doing it a second time). Anna was recommended and I warmed to her immediately.

Over the next few months Anna would help me talk about the intricacies of birth, strategies to avoid subsequent tearing, and tools to help me make peace emotionally with the first birth and start to prepare for the second. Her KGHypnobirthing and other resources - imagery, mantras, music, etc - all helped immensely with this and I started to feel ready to head into a natural labour. I had also engaged a private obstetrician (largely because I’d thought early on I’d have the caesarean by default), and thankfully (with support and suggestions from Anna), the obstetrician was also very supportive of me trying for a natural birth and of the methods we would try to avoid another tear (hot compresses, massage, etc).

However, as we got closer to D-day, the baby was measuring about the same size as my previous one (not massive at that time, but if she’d arrived late like the first, then...), and I had a change of heart. I told Anna I was starting to think maybe the caesarean was the best option for me after all. Anna swiftly moved into a different mode - firstly helping me work through the relative risks to me and baby of each option, and then, seeing I was leaning that way, empowering me to make the decision to have a caesarean. For anyone going through this decision, they’ll know it’s not an easy one to make and unfortunately for many women, one that can feel like ‘giving up’ (given the view among many that being able to have a ‘natural’ birth makes one, somehow, a better woman/mother - which I now see is dangerous, hurtful and oppressive). Anna really helped me with this, reminding me that it was my body, my decision, and that I’d done all the research I needed to make an informed decision. And that ultimately, and most importantly, either way I was going to welcome my beautiful baby into the world and be a great mother.

When finally I did go with the caesarean, Anna provided so many great resources (books, CDs) that showed me how to make an elective caesarean into a positive, magical experience, in contrast with the common view of it being ‘major surgery’ leaving the mother feeling scarred and incapacitated -and unable to form a bond with baby/easily breastfeed). The stories I read proved that it was possible to own the experience through things like insisting on skin to skin, and asking others in the room to contribute to a quiet, peaceful atmosphere).

On the night before, Anna sent messages of encouragement and empowerment and made sure I got a good rest. In the morning I went into hospital at 7am (as is the standard), and waited patiently with the couple of others who were also scheduled for caesareans that day. I’d had to fast since midnight the night before, so was feeling a bit hungry, but was mostly just excited and happy. There was a bit of a complication whereby I’d had low platelet levels, and these actually dipped again that morning, and for a while I panicked that I might have to have the caesarean under general anaesthetic which I really didn’t want - I wanted to be present for the procedure. Thankfully they weren’t too low and I was able to do it with only the epidural.

As I’d been warned might happen, I had to wait until about 11.30 until it was my turn to go to theatre - emergency caesareans and other procedures come first. We’d been given our own room to relax and wait in, and (with minimal interruption) spent those hours reading news about the leadership takeover in the Australian parliament! (Though Anna wasn’t able to attend the caesarean- you’re limited to one support person which was my husband- she was on call to come to the hospital as soon as we were out and ready for her.)

Finally the nurse came and said ‘you’re up’ and I walked into theatre, signed the forms, bent forward for the epidural, and lay down. Though there were a lot of people in the room, all in scrubs, it was a lovely atmosphere. We talked and laughed as the obstetrician and her assistant quietly worked away behind the screen. Within a few minutes the obstetrician held up our beautiful baby! She immediately cried so I knew there was nothing wrong with her, and after a couple of quick checks she was on my chest. Within minutes she had found my nipple and was breastfeeding happily, staring into my eyes.

Though I’d doubted if I would, given the different circumstances of this birth, I still felt the same overwhelming, incredible feelings I had with our first baby. I was crying tears of joy and had all the same strong emotions that I had had after my ‘natural’ delivery. I was also relieved that breastfeeding happened so quickly and easily just like the first time. A nurse took some beautiful photos of the three of us in theatre, moments I’ll never forget, and baby breastfeed happily while the obstetrician quietly stitched me up (I didn’t even notice this). The only thing I felt was the weird feeling someone aptly described as ‘like someone doing the dishes in your tummy’.

Afterwards in recovery I was brought a lemonade ice block (absolutely delicious, after being hungry since that morning), and we were left alone to marvel at our beautiful daughter. I was absolutely elated and apparently (in sharp contrast to the first time) said I wanted to do it again!

Recovery was easier and faster than I’d expected. Anna visited soon after with delicious breastfeeding cookies and shared in our elation, coming back the next day too. We went home after three nights in hospital (the third one being our choice), and I walked (slowly) up our steep path home and was off meds within about a week.

I wouldn’t ever say someone should go one way or another when it comes to deciding about a caesarean. That’s absolutely up to the individual, their doctor and their circumstances. But if you find yourself in a similar situation and feel a bit lost trying to navigate all the medical information, studies, online forums, etc, then I’d definitely recommend engaging a doula - especially Anna! I have no doubt it helped me come out of the whole experience feeling happy, blessed and with a very special memory when it could have felt quite different."

“Oh it was hard and it was wonderful. I loved it all”

Anonymous

"I was 41 weeks when my labor started. I woke up at 7 am. I felt little pop inside of me. I got up and went to the toilet where I saw a little bit of blood. My contractions started from then on, two every ten minutes. I saw my husband and we had quite a connection there. The baby was coming. I remember I felt quite steady but dreamy too. We went to the lounge and I started to count the contractions on a flower hour. I also started with Tens machine. My husband started to prepare the birthing space, mattress, pool, food etc. The roles were given.

The contractions kept coming. Within the next hour I wasn't able to count the contractions any more. I knew though they were getting stronger. I couldn'tt use the Tens machine anymore either as I didn't know how to turn it off in between the contractions and I called my husband to press birth acupressure points instead. In between the contractions my husband called my midwife and my doula too. My midwife arrived around 9, 10 am. My doula Anna arrived around the same time. When they got there I was quite immobile. I was lying on a mattress in the lounge and didn't move. It was quite painful and I didn't know what to do. Later my husband told me this was the hardest time for him to see me there in pain, unable to help. When my midwife came she checked my dilation. I was 5 cm. Things were moving quickly.

They asked me to get up from the mattress and lean over the edge of our couch. Oh how that helped. I liked the firm ground under my knees and the soft cushions I was resting on with the top of my body. It lessened the sensations too. Three pairs of hands were feeding me with mandarin, bliss balls, bits of toast and giving me heaps to drink in the next few hours. I felt I was being looked after. Things and people around me became more distant, like having a bubble around me. All I was able to do was going from one wave to another. I liked the rest in between. The birthing hormones were amazing, so much power.

I remember the sensation of the birth, dull powerful pressure. I remember my husband pressing the acupressure points. That really got me through the birth. I used some homeopathic remedy from the birthing kit. That helped me too. I was visualising I´m opening like a flower, soft, natural, beautiful. I was ready for my baby. I wasn't fighting anything. I went with it. After few hours of laboring I was quite stiff in my hips, quite tensed. My midwife must have seen this as she moved my hips with her hands and loosen them up in a circle. That made a huge difference. Everything inside of me moved. The amniotic fluid rocked and my baby moved and dropped a little more. I went to the pool and the baby was born within the next hour.

The pool was great. It took at least 30 % of the pressure away and my body got lighter too. I wish I would have gone there earlier. I had a few powerful contractions and soon I felt my sons head coming down the birth canal. I felt my waters braking when his head came out. I was aware of it all. It was such amazing moment. I had to change a position and in a few more contractions his whole body came out. I was ecstatic. I loved my husband being in the pool with me. I sat in front of him with our son in my arms and he was holding both of us, giving us something to lean on. It was such a precious moment. Our son was born 6 hours after the first contraction. He was healthy, beautiful and perfect. I was so relieved and happy. We bathed in the moment. We stayed in the pool for some time and then my placenta came out. We got out of the pool and I needed some stitches. I was afraid but it was less than a bee sting. Then I set in my chair and my son did a breast crawl and fed from both breasts within an hour of his birth. We loved him so much already. It was such a high. Amazing absolutely mind blowing and miraculous. The world became a better place in that moment. I had my baby.

Oh it was hard and it was wonderful. I loved it all. When I got up again I lost some more blood. My midwife counted I lost almost 1 litre of blood all together and called an ambulance for extra safety. This was the worst part of my birth story because my baby couldn't come with me in the ambulance. My husband had to follow me with our baby in our own car. I was so anxious and scared something is going to happen to them. I hated to be separated from my son so soon after the birth. It was horrible. Hour later we were together again and I felt relieved once again. We all stayed in one room which made things better. I didn't like to be in the hospital but all and all I was glad we went there. We were back home the next evening. It was good to be in our own space again. I was able to find my own rhythm again and we started life with our beautiful baby boy. I was tired and sore but we felt so much love as well. We were high in love."

“The perfect labour, until it wasn't”

Nicola

"We couldn’t believe our luck, my contractions started early in the morning on our due date! My husband had jokingly asked whether my contractions could start in the morning, as with our first son the contractions had started just before bedtime so we had been up all night, and then all day before he was born. This time round, our second-born was delivered at 11:26 p.m on his due date (just!) after a peaceful night sleep before.

With this being our second child, I knew exactly what kind of delivery I wanted, namely drugs, drugs and more drugs! It went to plan! My contractions grew gradually stronger and more frequent throughout the day. We timed the drive to the hospital right and this time around the contractions didn’t slow down once we were admitted to hospital. Our lovely Doula Anna met us there – almost perfect timing as soon as we got to the elevator. She kept me calm, dimmed the lights, and kept topping me up with refreshments when this was exactly what I needed without even knowing it. I didn’t have a consistent midwife due to a shortage, hence hiring a Doula this time around, but Anna recommended and made sure everyone was aware of my visual birth plan. I think bubs must have been reading it too as he knew exactly what to do. My labour seemed really calm and efficient.

There was one very emotional blip when the staff thought I might not be able to have an epidural (something to do with blood tests, I think) but Anna calmed me down, reminding me that the decision had not been made yet and stating that we could go through some other pain relief options if we needed to. Thankfully I got my epidural and I pushed the baby out like a pro (apparently lol!) without needing ventouse or forceps. He was placed on my chest, latched straight onto the breast and I was in love! I had always loved our eldest son with all my heart and a small part of me was worried whether I would be able to love a second child as much. Totally not a problem, my heart just doubled in size and I couldn’t take my eyes off him until…

…the blood loss, 2.1 litres of it to be exact. Weakness, pain, vomit inducing drugs, the shakes and dehydration followed. It lasted a couple of hours I think, but it felt much longer. After lots of fluids, but just escaping a blood transfusion, they moved us all to a private room to recover. Anna never left our side until we were all established in recovery.
We returned home just two days later, where my new baby was welcomed into the world by the best big brother ever. Their relationship blossoms and grows every day and they both make me feel so proud and joyful."

“This experience of giving birth couldn’t be better. It made me feel so empowered, positive and strong”

Anonymous

"It was early in the morning about 3:50 am when I felt an uncomfortable period pain. Without thinking it twice I started to count and reached 30 when the sensation stopped. I was surprised at how long the pain lasted. Surely enough, it started again a couple of minutes later. This time the sensation lasted 40 seconds. I woke up my partner Gano and told him that the surges had started and instructed him to start timing the next surges. I couldn’t believe that we were so close to have our baby in our arms six days before her due date.

An urge rushed over me to go poo. I had heard this was something common which mothers go through during labour. I fled to the bathroom, stayed there for several surges then went back to the bedroom. Shortly after, Gano woke his sister, Victoria, and advised her my labour had likely started. She had happily agreed to be part of my birth team months prior.

Every time I felt that the next surge was starting, I said to Gano ‘’it’s coming it’s coming’’ so he could rub my back, give me massages, and just be at my side. I felt so much support. Later, I asked him to put the hypnobirthing CDs on to help relax my mood and keep me focused on the long task at hand. The CDs didn’t provide the effect I had hoped as it wasn’t long until I wanted virtually complete silence due to any noise disturbing my peace.

Gano eventually started to work on getting the birthing pool ready despite not having a practice run through the night before (thank goodness it inflated without problems!). When the electronic air pump began it gave me an urge to move into the dining room assisted by Victoria. In hindsight, I don’t know where gained the energy to move to the next room because at this point I believe I had been in latent labour for several hours and undertaken countless surges. It was difficult for me to move my body at all let alone move into a different room. It was incredible how a rush of energy flowed through my body when I felt the need to change my environment urgently. Once in the dining room, the surges continued, and Victoria continued applying acupressure on some points which I had previously marked with henna tattoos several weeks earlier. It was such a good idea to have these points temporarily tattooed on my body to avoid waiting frustratingly for Gano and Victoria to apply acupressure to the right areas.

I had lost track of time and remember suddenly realising light streaming into the dining from multiple windows which was interfering with the calm space I craved. With the little energy I had I whispered to Gano and Victoria “so bright so bright’’. They immediately closed all the curtains around me which made me feel that little bit better. In one sense being in labour was like judging a meal at a restaurant – regardless if the majority of the dish tastes good , if one small part is off it will taint the goodness of the rest.

At that stage of the labour I couldn’t make long sentences. Partially because the surges were occurring more frequently with smaller intervals in between. At some point during my time in the dining room my surges started becoming much more intense causing me to becoming a lot more vocal. Gano was helpful because he kept reminding me to follow the hypnobirthing breathing techniques we had spent practising the several months leading up to my labour. He could tell my body was drifting away from where my mind wanted it to be. His calmness during one of the most challenging physical moments of my life helped me maintain control of what I could control, mainly the tempo of my breathing and my posture.

Throughout my time seated in the dining room I was holding a bowl due to my nausea and I vomited several times as my surges continued. After about an hour or two, the pool was ready and I slowly made my way there. Every movement was tough but motivation to be inside the warm water got me there. On my way to our bedroom I had a surge and I had to bend down to the floor to get through it.

Now I had been in labour for about 3-4 hours. I had told Gano on several occasions to call our midwife Elodie but he was reluctant as she had told us previously “if you can talk then it’s probably not time for me to come yet”. Not too long after arriving back inside my bedroom I almost started to cry from the intensity of the surges at which point Gano finally called Elodie. She immediately asked him to pass the phone to me so she could hear me. She asked me a couple of questions, but it was too hard for me to say a word. I responded with several loud moans to which she reminded me to breath in and out through the nose very strongly. This made things a bit more bearable. So too did the knowledge that Elodie was on her way to our house despite coming from Lower Hutt – a 25 minute drive away!

Gano and Victoria were intermittently passing me bite size bits of food (toast, muesli bars, biscuits, crackers) and drinks (water, smoothies, orange juice) that I could sip with a straw. They also held the straw for me when I drank to made spillage and suction problems less possible. After some time it became harder and harder to chew and swallow so I stopped accepting any more food about 5-6 hours into my labour. Liquids was all I could handle at this point.

The arrival of my midwife was a breath of fresh air. I felt Gano and Victoria had looked after me well until this point but there’s nothing like the relief of having a professional present during labour. She wasted no time and began applying acupressure during the surges which now felt a lot shorter and softer. I was happy she had arrived. Several hours after Elodie’s arrival the labour had progressed to the point the baby’s head was almost coming out. For the majority, I had my eyes closed focusing on my strong and deep breathing during and after the surges. They were still intense but I didn’t feel the need to make as much sound anymore. The second midwife Suzanne arrived about 2-3 before the birth. Now I really felt like my birth team was complete and I needed to do now was get that baby out. She held one of my hands and assisted with the on-going acupressure. I hadn’t met her before but I really appreciated her emotional support. Her smiling face and willingness to provide positive encouragement added extra comfort.

To Gano’s surprise, Elodie implied the baby was not too far away. I became excited and felt the end was near. Again, the surges began occurring more frequently and intense. This caused me to refocus on the power of my breathing as I felt baby was going to come out shortly. Baby’s head emerged and the real challenge began. Elodie encourage me to maintain pressure in between surges because baby kept retreating back inside if I started to relax between surges.

Finally, after a long period of pushing baby’s head was out. I stretched my arm to reach and touch baby’s head carefully and the first thing I said was “It’s so hairy!!”. The bedroom erupted with laughter and it was great to lower the seriousness in the room for a moment.

Everyone was telling me how good I was doing and I knew I was so close to meeting our baby. The last part of the labour was the most painful because I sent all my energy to help baby to come out. As it happened, baby came out with her palm open and clasped against her cheek which made me make a loud shriek due to the tear it caused.

Finally, baby exited my body and I was overwhelmed with relief and joy seeing baby glide into the warm water. It was such a mix of emotions, room pain and intense physical pressure on my body to immense happiness and physical relief the minute baby was out. I raced to remove my t-shirt and Elodie put baby on my chest for our first skin to skin. The room was filled with happiness. My baby had just been brought into this world through the best way I knew how. Everyone present congratulated me on the good job I had done and on the beauty of our new baby. I cried and laughed at the same time, it was such a precious moment. A couple of minutes later I realised I didn’t know the baby’s gender yet so our midwife lifted baby up and it was a beautiful girl. Very exciting news for us. I began labour at 3.50am and gave birth approximately nine hours later at 1.09pm.

Our baby girl’s first hour on earth was spent drinking some colostrum and spending a good hour of skin to skin against my chest. We had a delayed cord clamping and thanks to the help of the injected oxytocin to my body the placenta came out much easier as my body felt too stiff and painful pushing it out without assistance. For me, this experience of giving birth couldn’t be better. It made me feel so empowered, positive and strong. Also, all thanks to the huge support I received from my partner who I love so much and the rest of the birth team I could choose."

“We couldn't be more proud!”

Anonymous

"My pregnancy was complication free and smooth sailing until 36 weeks. I went in for a blood test and was informed that my liver enzymes were elevated to 8x higher than what is considered 'normal'. I then had to go into the hospital twice a week for regular blood tests and CTG scans. I had no symptoms and felt really good, so it was strange being told that there was something wrong with one of my vital organs. At 38 weeks one of the doctors strongly recommended an induction as they still couldn't give me a diagnosis. My husband and I had a tough decision to make, accept the doctors recommendation to be induced early in the hopes that my liver would come right once the baby was out, or continue with our birth plan which was to have a natural, intervention free birth. After seeking advice from friends & family, and receiving prayer from our church community, we decided to continue with our birth plan, with some minor adjustments. We agreed to have regular monitoring including twice weekly blood tests & CTG scans, we also had to have an induction date booked between 40 and 41 weeks.

At 5:00pm on my due date I started having noticeable contractions, they were irregular, but coming approximately every 20 minutes. The contractions continued throughout the night, but I managed to get about 6 hours of broken sleep. The next morning I was hungry, I ate breakfast and continued to have more regular contractions, they were now roughly every 10 minutes. My Mum arrived from out of town around 9:00am and we had a full day of activity, we walked up and down the stairs on the City-to-Sea Bridge, had coffee & scones at Nikau cafe, went to the Art Gallery, did a supermarket shop at Moore Wilsons, played a card game called 'Spot It', ate nachos for dinner, watched a movie, all whilst having these 1-in-10 minute contractions. I also loved the swiss-ball, and was the only form of 'pain relief' I used whilst at home.

At 9.00pm we contacted our midwife to let her know the contractions were still quite far apart, and the pain was still tolerable. She didn't think anything was going to happen that night and suggested a hot shower, heat pack, panadol, and bed. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep through these contractions, as they had certainly progressed from the ones I was having the night before. I did what I was told though and as soon as I got into bed I had my first really intense contraction. I grabbed my husband's hand and let out a groan, he immediately started timing and I had 3 contractions in approximately 12 minutes. The goal was 3-in-10 minutes for an hour. We managed 45 minutes before calling the midwife again. The contractions were really intense now, and were approximately 3 minutes apart. We arrived at the hospital just after 10:00pm and were ushered into one of the delivery rooms. All I wanted was to get back on the swiss-ball to relieve that intense pressure I could feel in my pelvis. The one in our delivery room was flat so my midwife went off to find another. After finding a swiss-ball, taking my blood pressure, filling in paperwork etc. my midwife performed an internal examination to make sure we really did need to be at the hospital. She was shocked to discover that I was already 9cm dilated! We were in hospital for less than 2 hours and I only pushed for 25 minutes before our son was born at 11:55pm on the 27 February (the day after my due date!). We had a 100% natural, intervention, drug free birth and couldn't be more proud!"

“Yup, just perfect”

Eliza

"Everything was perfect! It was Wednesday 29 April, your due date. We tried to have a nap, but I couldn’t quite sleep, which is very unusal for me. There were two moments throughout the day when I had to stop what I was doing because I felt quite a strong sensation. In the evening things started to get a bit more serious. I was able to help put Eliza down for bed. I told her that she would get to meet you very soon and explained everyone that would be coming over- Auntie Bee/Molly, Erin (midwife), Michelle (midwife) and Anna (doula). It was important to explain because we had been in our bubble during COVID isolation.

I texted Molly, explaining the sensations I was feeling, but also said, hope it’s not a false alarm. She was super excited to come over, so she left straight away. She arrived around 8 oclock. DaDa and I tuned in to Anna’s guided relaxation. DaDa kept track of the surges. After a while I needed to change the scenary, so I went to have a bath. After the bath Bee and I went in to the guest bedroom and rang Gompa and GiGi to let them know that things were pretty serious. Next I came back to the bedroom with DaDa. He got me a wheatpack to put on my lower back where I was feeling the surges. He rang Anna and Erin. Anna arrived around 1:30. She was so calm and comforting. For some reason I kept saying, “poop”. I was just lying in bed and when a surge would come I would say, “pooooop”. Anna turned on the hypnobirthing affirmations. Chris had set up the living area- massage table, lavendar in the diffuser, candles all around, dim lights, yoga blocks, birthing pool, etc. It was so perfect! As soon as things got a bit too much laying down in bed, we moved out in to the living room. Erin and Michelle arrived around 2am. Molly joined us in the living room. I only got in the pool once. I think I was worried about it delaying labour because I was so relaxed. Other than that I just slowly moved around the living room, breathing through each surge. Sometimes Anna or Chris would stroke my back gently. Everyone was good at reminding me to relax and not tense up. They also gave me water and food- apple slices, chocolate, honey. Oh yeah, I threw up a few times. Once in the bedroom when Anna was here and then in the lounge a couple of times.

I found myself thinking in my head the affirmation, “your mind leads where your body goes”. That helped me stay positive. It’s funny that that particular affirmation stuck because I never really noticed it during the four months of listening to the affirmations. It also helped to breathe in peace and relax and breath out tension and stress. When I started to get a bit “over it”, Chris and I went to the bathroom. He was so good. He had me prop by feet up on yoga blocks to help get my hips in a good position. He told me travel stories, which was a lovely distraction from the intense surges. When we went back out to the lounge it was nice to hear Molly, Anna, Erin and Michelle chatting and laughing a bit. They were quiet when we came back. They encouraged me to try different positions. Then they sent me back to the bathroom again. This time I was telling Chris, “you have to get him out. Talk to Erin, figure out a way to get him out”. I didn’t realise this at the time, but this was the transitional stage. When we went back to the lounge, Anna gently encouraged me to try standing and swaying my hips, holding on to Chris’s shoulders. Erin did Ribozo. Michelle was doing accupressure on my feet. I asked Molly to tell me a story. She started with “gentle waves at the lake of the ozarks”, but as soon as she said waves we reminded her that we are quite sensitive to waves, considering the recent storm that took our house. Hehe. It is funny!

I remember starting to hear Eliza stir a bit on the monitor. I don’t know how conscious or unconsious this was, but I felt the urge to push. I was squatting and told Molly to talk to you. She was amazing. It was so sweet. I didn’t know this at the time, but Molly explained that Erin had just excused herself to go to the toilet. Molly started seeing your head!! No worries, Erin came back in time. Hehe. She encouraged me to go on to all fours, which I didn’t want to do (because I didn’t want to move), but I did and saved my perineum for it! The next part is the best…well it all was the best, really. You slowly and gently came out in to the world. Anna took a video! The sun was rising. Your head came out “caul”, which means with part of the amniotic sac. So after your head was out Erin peeled it off. When it was on they could see you breathing. Such a miracle. You are extra special. Only one in 85,000 babies are born caul. The entire time throughout labour Chris was right there, huging, holding, stroking, encouraging, kissing and loving. Anna had a plethora of ideas and techniques- combs in the hands, ribozo, new positions, affirmations, etc. Erin was the perfect combination of gentle and assertive. Michelle was so reassuring, experienced and made sure I was well looked after. Molly was a little fly on the wall- quiet, calm, and stepped up when called on. It was the perfect birthing team.

You were born! You came to me for skin to skin and DaDa and I just admired how absolutely perfect you are. Erin and Michelle were hoping you would cry to help clear the mucas from your lungs. But you were so relaxed and chilled. They spent a couple of minutes checking you over- heart rate, etc. You were perfectly healthy. You came back to me and had a feed. The latch was perfect, easy and so natural. I remember seeing the umbilical cord and scissors and asing if I could birth the placenta. Erin helped with that. You had a huge placenta! It didn’t fit in the yoghurt container. We had to get a big bowl.

No medications. No stitches.

You were born at 6:22am and Eliza woke at 6:30. She was so amazed and excited. She offered you her dummy. It was the sweetest thing. She said, “tiny tiny fingers and toes”. She is such a sweetheart of a big sister. It was just absolutely perfect. Everyone helped tidy up while DaDa, Eliza and I gave you cuddles. Anna even made our bed. . Chris offered some muffins and tea and coffee. By 8:30 Anna, Michelle, and Erin were all gone. Auntie Bee hung out with Eliza while you, DaDa and I went back to bed for a big rest! Yup, just perfect."

Asher Birth Story

“Hypnobirthing certainly got me through”

Welcoming Asher - Anna

"I can hear it now. “No two pregnancies, labours or births are the same”. “Every birth is unique”. So when it is my own voice, saying this to expectant parents, I shouldn’t have been surprised by my second birth experience. Yet somehow I was caught off guard! I had always heard that second babies often come faster; that the birth is shorter and somewhat easier. I often heard people saying things like ‘if only our second babies were born first’!. This, however, was not the case for me. This little monkey had a different plan. You can read about the arrival of my first born here.

A lot had changed since the birth of my first baby; 3 years prior. I had been transformed by his birth. I had been to that off shore place, tapped into strength, courage and resilience that I never knew I had, and come back a different person. I experienced my biggest achievement in life by far and was whole-heartedly proud. Transformed, my life took a different path. I was now driven and passionate about supporting other parents, through their own experience; to have, their best birth, for them. So in the space of a year, alongside conceiving and growing my third baby (my second pregnancy ended in early miscarriage), I trained and qualified as a doula with the BirthBliss Academy, and was awarded my Diploma in Hypnobirthing (Katharine Graves).

So as I sit here now writing my second birth story, with those qualifications under my belt, I have to admit I feel a little conflicted. People are usually curious about my own birth experiences. I’m sharing antenatal education, hypnobirthing techniques, and often, offering a new perspective. And I can see it in their eyes – “did you have a doula? Was it pain free? Was it short? Was it a natural?” and “yes, but did the KGH techniques work for you??”

My short answer is yes. But perhaps not in the way people imagine. In my doula training, the first exercise was to debrief our own birth experiences. The most important step in being able to fully support other birthing parents, is to have gained closure on our own births, so that we can go forward without any unresolved niggles or ‘baggage’ that may impact on our ability to objectively support the choices of others. It was suggested to us that we don’t share our own birth stories with clients, and I get why. My experience, while interesting, is irrelevant to how I can support parents, because, as my second birth confirmed, every birth is unique. If asked ‘what was your birth like’, the answer that doulas are recommended to give is ‘if you are still interested after you’ve had your baby, ask me again”. And do you know what? Not one client was asked me after they have had their own baby! It is irrelevant because every birth is unique. There seems to be an expectation that as a doula and hypnobirthing teacher, my own births must be an example of what I teach.

So I like to start with a few key messages.

Firstly, let’s make one thing perfectly clear – neither of my birth stories are any more important than anyone else’s. How it went for me is no better demonstration of using hypnobirthing than how it went for someone else. My certification and experience as a doula and hypnobirthing teacher, does not qualify me to have complication-free births! Birth, like life, has risks and is unpredictable, no matter whom you are!

Secondly, I believe that the end goal isn’t (if it is, it shouldn’t be) about being ‘pain free’, ‘natural’, or ‘short’. No one gets a medal for the shortest labour or whoever needed the least amount of pain relief. There is no 1st, 2nd or 3rd place. Birth is not a competition. Instead, an awakening of our inner resilience, strength, courage and capability; these should be the end goals. Knowing how you want to be cared for when we birth; respected, empowered, listened to; these should be the end goals.

Thirdly, when showing videos of dreamy births or ‘positive’ birth stories, I am doing so from the position of wanting to inspire; to point out different things to learn from each video/story and providing antidotes to the type of birth imagery we have most commonly been exposed to. But, I do not share them as goal setters. They are not shown as a guarantee that your birth will be the same (although if you’re a healthy Mum and Bub and you’d like a birth like that, I totally believe you can!), for the basic and realistic fact that, as I like to emphasise, every birth is unique. But, I share and show and teach, that these are suggestions that birth can be a totally wonderful experience, and anyone can most definitely maximise their own chances of having a wonderfully positive experience.

With one birth experience in New Zealand under my belt, and as a newly qualified birth doula and hypnobirthing teacher, this is how I maximised my chances; second time around, and in the UK…

I hired an Independent Midwife. In the absence New Zealand’s leading model of midwifery care, and knowing how crucial that continuity of care was first time round, this made all the difference for me.
Knowing what a difference it makes, I nurtured my state of mind. I practiced hypnobirthing. Re-read the books. Avoided negativity and saturated myself in inspiring birth stories. I practised my breathing techniques, worked on my visualisations and did birth relaxations most evenings.
I ate well and kept fit by doing exercise I enjoyed. I walked, swam, joined a pregnancy exercise group, and made regular use of my pregnancy yoga DVD.
I practiced perineum massage.
I sought the love and energy of my most trusted female friends around the globe. I asked them to send me a bead and a birth affirmation. I made a necklace with the beads (which I wore in labour), and turned their affirmations into bunting and decorated my lounge. I read them, over and over.
I arranged the support of my Mum to help with my 3 year old at the birth.
I prepared for a birth were I would felt safest; at home.
My partner supported my choices. He was a fantastic hypnobirthing partner and helped set up my birthing nest using dim lighting, whispers, calmness, light touch massage, a pool, and a healthy dose of trust

With my preparations in place, I felt relaxed, excited and ready to wait. Trouble was, no one else was ready to wait! I woke up on Sunday 19th April feeling frustrated with the constant inquires as to my baby’s arrival. I needed to keep busy. Soon enough, on the way back from the shop, that I started feeling irregular, crampy, tightening sensations.

In the early hours of Monday 20th, at around 1am, I was certain that ‘things’ were occurring, and as it turned out, they were. I recorded on an app that I was having a sensation every ten minutes, lasting around 30 to 40 seconds. Yay! I timed them for about an hour and a half, meanwhile texting friends to let them know something was starting! Knowing I needed to rest and do my best to ignore them, I tried to get back to sleep.

To my disappointment, come Monday morning, everything had stopped. I rang Sarah (our midwife) just to let her know, and I planned to ring her again later in the day to update her. Dom worked from home, and sticking to our labouring tradition, we did the grocery shop! In the afternoon I got a bit of rest, then we decided to go for a family walk to try and get things moving again. Our walk turned into a more of a ramble; over muddy terrain, under low lying branches and through a field with Shetland ponies who were quite frankly too friendly for my pregnant liking. It made me giggle though, which was great relaxation. My favourite part of the walk was through a field of bright yellow flowers, which looked dazzling against the bright blue sky (we later chose to plant a piece of the placenta).

We got home and I updated Sarah (the mild surges had returned, yay), who came over at around 7pm. Isaac had just gone to bed and the surges were still around one in ten minutes. I enjoyed a wonderful foot massage and Sarah applied some acupressure on my feet and ankles to aid labour. I agreed to an internal examination and she confirmed I was 4 cm dilated. So we settled in for the evening and got things in the room ready, including filling up the birth pool and getting the video camera in position, and called my Mum to come (she lived about an hour away). Sarah dabbed some clary sage essential oil onto a cotton wool ball and taped it to my vest.

Resting as much as I could, I got up to make a cup of tea at about 9pm, and all of a sudden I felt my waters go – just as my Mum arrived. Sarah called our second midwife, Liz, who arrived at around 10pm, just before Nanny left to spend the night in a local bed and breakfast.

With my waters gone, I anticipated a natural and fairly swift progression in labour.
Oh how wrong I was!

An hour or so later, (spent watching a funny movie together) there was no change and it was getting late. Off to bed Dom and I went, with the recommendation from Sarah and Liz that we snuggle up with plenty of oxytocin inducing kisses and cuddles, before getting some sleep. Sarah and Liz set up camp on the sofas.

Through the night, my midwives took turns to pop in and listen to me and my baby hourly - we were both healthy and relaxed.

Listening to my body, there was a point when I could no longer remain lying down with each surge. Being upright on the bed and leaning against the window-sill felt much more comfortable. Over time I became increasingly restless, and I felt that something had to change.

We returned downstairs to two dozing midwives. I tried the pool and got out again. Then paced about. Relaxed. Then sat on a birth stool. Used my up breaths. Then sat on a ball. Had some light touch massage. Then paced around some more.

In the darkness of the early hours of Tuesday morning, I noticed my morale was dropping. I was starting to worry that with my waters broken, time was now of the essence. Was something wrong? Why was it taking so long? Why did my surges feel inefficient? I released these concerns to my wonderful midwives, who were so grounding and reassuring, reminding me that steady progress was being made as every single surge would be making a difference. Every surge was steadily bringing my baby closer.

Before I realised, light was coming in through the cracks in the curtain. A new day had begun, and my 3 year old was up wanting breakfast. As I greeted the day, I affirmed to myself this is the day I will meet my baby and my morale soon started to lift and I could feel the calm hopefulness return.

After breakfast I agreed to another examination. To my disappointment, not only was my cervix unchanged at 4cm, but my baby’s head was at a wonk, which would explain why labour had not progressed. My midwives were amazingly patient and pointed out that although my cervix remained the same, the surges were working hard to help mould and shape baby into the best position for birth. I couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed, and thoughts of a transfer to hospital for ‘failure to progress’ interrupted my mind. The hypnobirthing techniques were so helpful at helping me stay calm and relaxed and keep that adrenaline at bay. My birth team were amazing too and my skilled and committed midwives knew that with a healthy bubba and mumma, there was still lots we could to do aid baby’s position. How? With walks and lunges and a calm state of mind! We made a plan to go walking and lunging once my 3 year old was at preschool. Sarah stayed to help me, while Liz popped out to see another client.

And then, shortly after tidying up the breakfast things, in what felt like an instant, everything changed!

Within a matter of minutes, my surges really ramped up. I was so relieved! Yay! These were the kind of big Up surges I was familiar with and I welcomed each one with open arms! They were quickly all consuming, requiring my full focus, Up breathing, swaying and leaning over the table. Sarah could see that things were changing quickly, and applied acupressure to my sacrum which felt amazing. I could feel him navigating the pelvis, and Sarah said she could physically see my pelvis shifting to accommodate him! Somehow, this clever little monkey had figured out (with support of the surges whose efficacy I wrongly doubted) what he needed to do to get into the optimal position for birth. Once he had it figured out, it was all systems go.

I called Mum to come quickly to play with Isaac upstairs. We set the camera to record.
I melted into in the pool.

With my positive statements of birth playing to the room, using my down breath and visualisations, I welcomed the sensation to bare down, and had 30 challenging yet satisfying minutes of pushing. And at 8:30am on Tuesday morning, he was born! Using my antenatal education and with support from my midwife I consciously birthed my baby’s head slowly (I wanted to avoid a repeated tear), and just like my first baby, his shoulders and body followed in the same surge, and before I knew it, he was lifted out of the water and was skin to skin, having a cry, and in my arms!

Our baby Asher started to feed straight away in the pool, and once the chord had stopped pulsating, I got out to birth the placenta. Isaac cut the chord and took delight in the messy and sensory experience of exploring the placenta with Sarah.

Before I knew it, I was tucked in up in my own bed with my gorgeous new baby, my Mum was taking Isaac to pre-school to share the exciting news, and Dom was putting our lounge back to normal and bringing me lunch!

So much love!

Anchor 1

Isaac Birth Story

“I remember repeating the words to my baby 'we did it'”

Welcoming Isaac - Anna

"When I was pregnant with my first baby, and like many new mums, I did not know much about birth, and I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Most of my ideas about birth was from what I had seen on TV, or heard from other people, and generally consisted of hospitals, pain, and large needles. I had never heard of a doula. I had no clue what a perineum massage was. The idea of birthing ‘naturally’ felt alien and unusual to me. Why would anyone want to?!? I had never heard of 'hypnobirthing'. Home birth felt too big of a risk. I did not know that I had options. I did not know that I was not the permission seeker, but the decision maker over my body, my baby and my birth. I did not know how to write a birth plan. I did not know how to plan for the unknown.

Until, a few things started to change.

As my pregnancy progressed; so too did my knowledge. I was taking tiny pigeon steps into my new identity as an expectant mother. It was like a dim little light bulb above my head got a little brighter and brighter each day with every new thing I learned about pregnancy and birth. Right up until the end of my Birth Wise antenatal course, I had got so far as narrowing my plan down to a natural birth, in the hospital. It wasn’t until my experienced midwife, suggested, that given I was having a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby, why not consider homebirth.

Her proposal triggered self-reflection about my socially conditioned reason for going to hospital, which was ‘because that’s what you do’. As time passed, this just didn’t feel like a good enough reason. I wanted a more informed reason. So, we talked. I read. I researched. I felt an increasing sense of empowerment, as the informed decision maker. I realised that I didn’t have to go to hospital ‘because that’s what you do’. I learned that home is just as safe for a healthy Mum and baby, and that I would actually increase my chance of a natural birth by staying away from the hospital. My midwives were there for the ‘what ifs…’. There was so much learning. And from that, came an decision based on information. Not fear.

So, with Dom’s support, we started to prepare for birth plan A - a water homebirth (as well as having a hospital bag ready at the door for a birth plan B or C!). One of the things we started reading about was this thing called ‘Hypnobirthing’. I found a book in the Birth Wise library, liked the philosophy behind it, and started practicing daily relaxation. I had no idea that Hypnobirthing courses were a thing, could not find any other types of Hypnobirthing books.

It was funny how many other benefits of a home birth soon came crawling out of the wood work! Not having to face an uncomfortable car journey to the hospital. Not changing from feeling like a strong birthing woman, to a permission-seeking patient. Avoiding the risk of infection. Avoiding feeling inhibited, fearful, observed and controlled. The principles of hypnobirthing told me that an environment filled with fear, unfamiliar people and lack of love and compassion, can stall, or even reverse labour progress.

In the final couple of months, my pregnancy felt very spiritual. I loved being pregnant. I felt amazing, and important, and I took my job seriously. I did pregnancy yoga and antenatal hydrotherapy *amazing!* which are totally complementary to hypnobirthing. I swam, I took gentle exercise, I ate well, I priortised rest and relaxation and was mindful of my posture. I went for massages. I talked to my baby. I nurtured my mental health as much as my physical and made birth art (this is hilarious to anyone who knows me as I am the least creative person I know), watched incredible birth documentaries or empowered women, and wouldn't listen to anything else but the hugely uplifting Soweto School Gospel Choirs, Seteng Sebida.I sought out a good support team around me so felt respected, safe and listened to. I was feeling confident and optimistic as a first time mum. I surprised people with my admission that I was looking forward to birth and felt very up for the challenge! The look on the face of the older gentleman lifeguard at the swimming pool when he looked down at me treading water and asked “when is your baby due?” and I said “today actually!”, was pretty priceless – shock, disgust and concern that he may have to evacuate the pool at any given moment.

Like most first time mums, the ‘due date’ came and went and emotions were running high. A scan at 41 weeks left me a crumpled mess because the shadows on the image gave my baby’s face the appearance of a disfigured and sad clown! Trying not to get hell bent on the self-induction methods, I enjoyed spending time with girlfriends as well as quiet time in my own company. My mucus plug had come away much to my delight and I kept it in a take-away tub and showed it to anyone willing to see it, with pride!

After a couple of days of having lots of tears, a stretch and sweep, some cuddles with my friend’s newborn baby and some sideways stepping in the hills of Island Bay, on November 27th 2011, I woke up. Labour had started. As a first time Mum, I was thrilled, relieved and excited for what was about to unfold over the next day or two (so I thought!).

Right from the start, the sensations I was feeling came every couple of minutes, lasting around 20 – 30 seconds. I had already agreed to having CTG this very day, so when I called the midwife to confirm the time, I explained I was having mild sensations of labour. We agreed to meet at the hospital at 14:00, but if things intensified between now and then to let her know.

So Dom and I tried to pass the time as best we could and headed out to get the groceries. I remember waddling up and down the aisles, scribbling notes of the frequency and duration of each sensation.

11:15am - 23 seconds, 11:20 - 18 seconds, 11:21 - 24 seconds, 11:24 - 20 seconds, 11:28 - 20secs, 11:30 - 24 seconds, 11:32 - 25secs, 11:34...11:36...11:38.....11:42...11:44...11:48....

This pattern continued until 14:00 when we met the midwife at the hospital who confirmed I was in early stages of labour and two centimetres dilated, wahoo! The CTG showed baby’s heartrate was steady and healthy. Double wahoo!

After having a stretch and sweep to encourage a continued momentum of labour (a decision I question in hindsight), we left the hospital with the midwife’s advice to keep in touch as things progressed. To continue our efforts of ignoring the sensations and to pass the time (thinking this could go on for days!) Dom and I decided to take a detour on the way home and we grabbed a couple of ice creams and had a walk along Island Bay. By this stage, the surges were really strong, requiring my full concentration and breathing while hanging off of Dom’s neck.

A friendly woman obviously caught on to what was happening and approached me and with a gentle hand on my arm said “Good luck”. I never saw her face. This female energy was incredibly powerful and gave me a big oxytocin hit, which I can only describe as the feeling of melting into a hot bath.

We got back home and our good girlfriend came round. Now the surges were very intense and I was pacing around the flat, leaning over furniture, using my Up breath with each surge which were still no longer than 45 to 50 seconds, but coming every couple of minutes. And then at around 17:15, from out of nowhere while sucking an ice cube, I dashed to the bathroom where I was violently sick. And as soon as it had started, it finished, and I was fine again! I heard my experienced friend say the word 'transition' (end of the first stage of labour), and the next thing I knew Dom was on the phone to the midwife. She reassured Dom that this was a normal event, that we were doing really well and to carry on.

Realising she might actually end up catching the baby if she stayed, our friend then left, and we thought it would be a good idea to put a funny movie on to pass the time (Kick Ass to be exact). Sitting on the birth ball, I couldn't sit still for long. It felt much better to be walking and moving around. After a few minutes of doing this, my surges intensified again and this is when I remember starting to make low pitched ‘ooooooommmmmmm’ noise. (As a side recommendation - if you scream like you’re in medical pain, you’ll scare yourself. Plus you will waste your energy by making high pitched that are not conducive to how the muscles of your uterus are working. A low pitched ‘ooooooommmm’ or mmmoooooooo like a cow like you’re just acknowledging the sensations, it feels much easier to handle. Plus this sound comes from deep down within you, and can help with the process of labour!). By this stage I was all consumed and 'in the zone', and using up breath, movement and ooommmmming to ride them out. I kept my body moving by circling my hips and kept leant over a chair. Soon enough, I started to feel the need to poo. Yep, you heard me. Often when a parent says they want to poo, midwives and doulas get very excited, because it probably means you actually want to push out your baby (which does actually feel like it is coming out of your bum, but don’t worry, it’s not!). One thing that concerned me a little alongside this new sensation to take a massive dump - where were the midwives?! Although my surges did not meet the criteria outlined by our midwives to be called (lasting for 60 – 90 seconds and 3 in ten minutes), I knew that some female energy, reassurance and support from knowledgeable midwives was now needed, so Dom made the call. It was a good job he did! On hearing ‘Anna says she wants to poo’, the midwives were now speedily on their way and suggested I get in the pool (see, told you they get excited!). But, hah! What pool!?! We had been so busy keeping ourselves busy distracting ourselves, thinking we’d be in labour for days, that the pool had not yet been filled! So the next thing I know, Dom was frantically racing around our flat trying to quickly fill up the birthing pool with saucepans of hot water from the kitchen, in between pausing to support me through my surges (what I didn't know was that the hose kept bursting off the tap by the force of the water at which it was required, which is why saucepans were used!).

At 18:45, we decided to finally utilise some of the hypnobirthing tools, and with the hypnobirthing positive birth statements playing to the room, the first midwife arrived. I'll always remember how she greeted me with such positivity and praise “You’re doing so well!” which just sounded wonderfully reassuring, and again I melted from the oxytocin rush. I agreed to be examined me and she confirmed I was fully dilated. Wahoo! The surges now felt like an incredible pressure being exerted down through my body, like you were being drawn from me by a magnetic force. Pushing with these surges was beyond my physical control, and immensely satisfying. It was like my mind had been removed from the equation, and 'went with it'; allowing my body to do what it needed to do for my baby’s calm and physiological arrival. You were on your way!

My student midwife provided some massage and wonderful acupressure on my lower back.
Although we had a birth plan A, B and C, my baby was coming along safely and at this point I knew I wasn't going anywhere. We were going to have our Plan A after all! At 19:04 the pool was ready and I sank into the water. Bliss! The warm water and soft inflated floor felt wonderful, taking the weight off my joints, making me buoyant and giving me a cocoon of private space. With the positive birthing affirmations playing to the room, I (as well as the rest of the birth team!) was washed in calm, confidence, and control. Dom was great. Holding my hand, placing cold flannels on the back of my neck, and telling me how well I was doing. Our baby’s heart-rate remained steady and chilled, he was a happy baby! I used movement and positioning, and leaned forwards over the edge of the pool for most of my time. Although by this stage I wasn’t really consciously thinking about anything. I was in a primal place, and my body was doing the work without any need for me to control it. I was encouraged to reach down and feel my baby’s head sitting felt in the birth canal. Sure enough, there was my baby in my vagina! My waters broke on his way down, although I didn't notice at all.

A couple more powerful surges, and big pushes (fuelled by a shot of panic right at the end) my beautiful baby popped out like a cork from a bottle, in the water and placed directly onto my chest while taking a celebratory meconium shit all across my squidgy postpartum stomach. It was 19:34. His skin was velvety soft. He had a full head of hair on a perfectly round head and scrunched up little face. He didn't cry, just took it all in! I couldn't stop smiling and laughing, and I remember repeating the words to my baby “we did it”. We were a team in the birthing process, and I have never, ever, ever, felt so proud of myself, and my baby, and Dom.

We got out of the pool and with the placenta still inside and clutching my baby, I waddled into the lounge and waited for the placenta to be born (which we kept and later buried). With my beautiful baby boy in my arms, it was from this point, things started to change.

I lost some blood (about 600mls), so after the birth of the placenta I agreed to an injection of synthetic oxytocin to help stop the bleeding. The force of my final couple of pushes had caused a perineal tear, and as my midwife was struggling to assess the severity, made the recommendation to go to hospital. At 21:00 I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, with my new baby and Dom driving behind. I don’t mind telling you – this short journey felt like a lifetime, and totally and utterly sucked. The chatty young male paramedic was telling me all about his partner who he had an 18 month old with and some anecdote about going to the beach… I couldn’t give a flying f**k! I had just pushed a human being out of my own body and didn't know what damage had happened down below! It was a confusing and lonely 10 minute drive. I was overjoyed to be reunited with my new baby and Dom at the hospital.

While I was checked over, I watched our baby having wonderful skin to skin with Dom and was weighed. He was a healthy, happy little boy weighing 3.94 kg! My perineum was given a thorough examination and turned out I had a 2nd degree tear. I was relieved, having been fearing it was much worse given the nature of our speedy hospital transfer. The injected anaesthesia for the stitching was the f***ing worst (by far the hardest part of the whole birth!) so I found breathing exercised helpful for this bit. I also had a cannula successfully inserted into my hand after two bodged attempts as a precautionary measure, and ended up not needing it for anything.

While I was disappointed to need to go to hospital after all my preparation to birth at home, there turned out to be additional health complications. As I’ve come this far and am in the mood for sharing, I don’t mind telling you that during the course of my labour I totally forgot to pee. Did you notice how there was no mention of going to the toilet in my story?! That’s because I didn’t! Not once in about 12 hours! So my baby was born, speedily, against a full-to-busting bladder. Subsequently I damaged all the nerve endings and lost all sensation of my bladder. So I stayed in hospital for 2 nights having regular bladder scans, drinks, pee practice and catheters until I could go by myself like a big girl. Not having much else to do but drink and pee, stay in bed with my baby, have meals brought to me, get help with breastfeeding and get support to tend to my sore perineum were definitely the plus points to a mini postnatal hospital admission. I was in the best place I needed to be postnatally and am grateful to the amazing hospital midwives for their care and support.

My antenatal education and limited hynobirthing knowledge had supported me to have the best possible birth for me, based on the circumstances I was in and how much I did or didn't know as a first time Mum! I feel my first birth experience makes me a well- rounded teacher and doula. I know that sometimes there are compromises to be made. There are highs and lows. There are new plans coming out of nowhere even after your baby has been placed in your arms. My experience of the crowning stage of labour, the postnatal period, and need for after care gave me even more insight and more knowledge, so that when it came to birth planning for baby number 2, we knew we wanted to increase our hypnobirthing knowledge beyond just reading a book, in hope it would make a bigger difference.
You can read the birth story of my second baby here."